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Lars
Category:Antagonists "I will have my revenge... AFTER I run away like a little bitch!" Lars NLN (No Last Name) is an antagonist in the Stuff Store Regular Universe, allied with Tuxedo Knight. He was once Tuxedo Knight's roadie before eventually becoming his partner-in-crime, and he generally does the dirty work for Tuxedo Knight, not that he minds in the slightest. After Tuxedo Knight's death, return, and second death, Lars went into hiding with the remnants of Tuxedo Knight's army, and he never emerged onto the scene as a genuine threat until the Final Final; however, he was dispatched by Pizza Vampire. Personality Compared to Tuxedo Knight, Lars is far more laidback and blasé, rarely losing his cool except for especially tense situations. He's like a twisted alternative to Sam, much like how Tuxedo Knight is a twisted alternative to Austin. As an agent, Lars is indispensable, one of the few "un-expendable" associates of Tuxedo Knight's network of criminals and mercenaries; he rarely fails Tuxedo Knight, and the few times he does, it's either because of situations he can't control / couldn't predict or because of Tuxxy's enormous ego. Lars is something of a sadist, totally complying with (hell, even wanting to) doing the dirty work for Tuxedo Knight. It doesn't particularly matter if it's blackmailing, assassination, asplosions, or thievery; Lars will do it, and do so with a smirk. He has no problems with, say, extorting and somewhat-enslaving a little kid, or killing said little kid's dad. Even if the little kid's a sarcastic dick. That said, Lars doesn't seem to share Tuxedo Knight's genocidal nature (not that Lars does anything to stop it) - he just seems to enjoy the sense of power that comes with working for him and Trent. After Tuxedo Knight (seemingly) dies for good in The Return of Tuxxy, Lars takes the remnants of Tuxedo Knight's army and flees, trying his best to exert the same amount of influence and control over the world, but failing to do so, largely because Trent slashed the funding and support for Tuxedo Knight's conquest after Tuxxy's first death, deciding Tuxxy was a lost cause. All Lars can manage to do at this point is occasionally prank Austin, or take out his cable. History Before The Tuxedo Night Lars - who is not at all related to Lars from Futurama despite the similar beard - was once a roadie and stagehand for Tuxedo Knight's reggae band. He generally helped the band with all areas - lighting, stage managing, security, truck driving, props, special effects, distributing the weed backstage. After smoking a bazillion joints, he and Tuxedo Knight became close friends, and he was basically considered the fifth member of Tuxxy's band after that point. After Tuxedo Knight's legendarily awful fourth album - which earned him and his band universal disdain (it was described as "musical terrorism" by Hard Jams Inc.) - the band broke up, vowing to never again associate themselves with music... ever again. The only person that really stuck around with him was Lars. Tuxedo Knight was pissed beyond belief, and self-pitying, believing that the world had abandoned him and that everyone was just jealous of his wealth and talent. Lars basically said "yeah sure, why not" and Tuxedo Knight vowed revenge against the world. That said, he wasn't exactly sure how to achieve such lofty ambitions. Lars began putting out fliers: "World Conquerors In Training. Support Needed! Experience A Plus. Call Us Here: xxx-xxxx". At first, nobody responded, but soon somebody did, a mysterious gent by the name of Trent. He invited Tuxedo Knight and Lars to visit his five-star jet on the roof of his enormous palace atop his flying island, which was floating atop Europe (which Trent owns). Trent promised the two of them support, supplies, soldiers, the whole nine yards, under one caveat: that they held true to their genocidal goals and didn't pussy out. Tuxedo Knight agreed immediately, as did Lars. Trent came through with his promise, and then some. All kinds of criminals, mercenaries, cons, and generally unpleasant fellows were now at the disposal of Tuxedo Knight, with enough weapons and supplies to overthrow a third world planet.They got to work quick, Tuxedo Knight first setting his sights on destroying the place where "the critics roam"; basically, Los Angeles and New York. Lars was in charge of operations, and Tuxedo Knight was in charge of standing atop a platform and looking menacing. Lars turned out to be an incredibly effective agent, following Tuxedo Knight's orders to the letter. "I basically just understood what he wanted even before he really said it. I mean, 'destroy and pillage' isn't exactly hard to follow along with." - Return of Tuxxy Eventually, their conquest got them involved with the police (no shit) - however, one girl in particular, Austin, vowed to take down Tuxedo Knight. Tuxxy and Lars scoffed at this point; how much damage could one girl do? They really shouldn't have asked, suffice it to say. Although the world wasn't aware of Austin's place as the Chosen One yet, it was obvious that this kid was on another level altogether; she kept getting in their way and foiling their plans, over and over. Regardless, Tuxedo Knight ordered Lars to not engage Austin unless the situation truly demanded it; because of Tuxedo Knight's overpowering narcissism, he wanted to be the one to take down "the persistent Asian brat". Lars, having perfected going with the flow to a T, agreed, and helped Tuxedo Knight terrorize the world for the good half of a year. The Tuxedo Night Austin proved too hard to kill, but a "veritable source" (later revealed to be Jaclose) revealed Austin's Skype address to Tuxedo Knight; in the Stuff Store world, your Skype address has all your valuable information on it. All of it. Tuxedo Knight and Lars organized an attack on Austin's house and the headquarters of the police organization she worked for, VSSPAL - however, thanks to an information leak, VSSPAL was prepared for the attack. Austin, however, wasn't. Tuxedo Knight led the attack on Austin's house, but Austin managed to escape thanks to the efforts of Pizza Vampire and Vizit. Royally pissed, Tuxedo Knight ordered Lars to attack the AM/PM as a backup plan, giving Lars strict orders to keep Austin alive so Tuxxy could finish her off. Lars shadowed VSSPAL, and began sacking the AM/PM, but Steve had numerous traps and explosives set up to cover their ass. Being fooled twice in the same night sent Tuxxy into a blind rage, and he ordered Lars to attack The Court of Miracles with everything they had. Eager for some action, Lars donned a disguise and snuck into the Court of Miracles to distract VSSPAL while Tuxedo Knight and his army got set up. This plan worked - third time's the charm, after all - and Tuxedo Knight declared open war against the Court of Miracles. It was an explosion of violence, and Tuxedo Knight was on the brink of victory before Austin challenged him to a duel, to buy time and stroke Tuxxy's ego. Naturally, Tuxedo Knight agreed, ordering his army to stop and watch, and the two of them had their famous duel, resulting in both participants getting wounded - however, Austin's shot was by far and away the fatal one, and Tuxxy fell off the arena, falling unconscious upon impact. Lars, shocked, stared at Tuxedo Knight for a moment before ordering his army to resume killing everyone - however, Austin managed to buy Vizit time, and the Gilbert police came storming in, quickly taking care of Tuxxy's armies along with the efforts of VSSPAL and the residents of the Court of Miracles. Lars ordered a retreat, and the survivors turned tail and ran, taking Tuxedo Knight's body with them. The Return of Tuxxy The Gilbert police orchestrated a wide-scale search-and-destroy mission in the hopes of wiping out whatever remained of Tuxxy's army. While a vast majority of the squadrons and brigades were arrested or destroyed, Lars and a relatively small battalion of soldiers and mercenaries managed to escape persecution by fleeing west towards California, accompanied by a miraculously still-alive Tuxedo Knight; as it turns out, Austin's bullet had only penetrated a handful of Tuxedo Knight's many tuxedos. Trent cut off all contact with Tuxedo Knight after the latter's failure to destroy Gilbert, deciding he was too destructive and prodigal to keep supporting. Tuxedo Knight repeatedly kept soliciting Trent for funding and backup, but Trent never returned his calls, essentially ending all contact between the two. Furious, Tuxedo Knight decided to try a more traditional method of obtaining funds: murder and thievery. Lars managed to track down the name of an energy company in California owned by the father of a boy named Mojito. Tuxxy led a raid against the company, killing Mojito's father in the process and essentially claiming the company for his own after all of the company's executives were dead. Lars just happened to like the swivel chair that came with sitting at the CEO's desk. Tuxedo Knight would eventually enslave Mojito, giving him the worst job of all: the task of polishing his innumerable tuxedos. Lars noticed Mojito's talents for sneaking around undetected, and decided he would make for a pretty decent spy. However, Lars and Tuxxy had a chip installed in Mojito's sternum while he slept one night, which would allow them to track his movements. When Mojito was taken captive by VSSPAL, Lars led the charge against the police station. In the meantime, Tuxxy organized the theft of a flying fortress that Trent owned, and managed to procure it in just enough to greet his newest prisoners - that is, all of VSSPAL. Lars taunted Austin for a little while and then proceeded to check out the rest of the flying fortress, fascinated by its futuristic design. He and a couple of his soldiers were having a blast and a half harmlessly fiddling with a variety of colorful buttons and dials when they heard that VSSPAL had broken out of their cells. Vizit, Pizza Vampire, and Steve quickly intercepted Lars and had a brief shootout in the central control room; Lars managed to escape with a Smoke-It Bomb. Lars dashed to the top floor in time to see Austin turn the forcefields against Tuxedo Knight; the electricity fried all of Tuxedo Knight's suits, killing him immediately. Lars was ready to open a can of whoop-ass, but Sam just knocked him out. VSSPAL managed to hack into the fortress' flight system, but they realized that none of them had any idea how to operate a flying fortress, and so they braced for impact. VSSPAL and Lars managed to miraculously survive the crash, and Lars escaped once again, using the smoke and dust to cover his tracks. Post-Return of Tuxxy Lars virtually disappeared off the radar after the events of Return of Tuxxy. Whatever remnants of Tuxxy's army were still left after VSSPAL's efforts either left, joined other forces, or simply weren't strong enough to do more than a few petty attacks or supply runs. Eventually, he gave up trying to establish control, and faded into obscurity for the longest time. The Final Final However, Lars' luck began to change thanks to the enterprising efforts of two villains that, like him, had worked in the shadows for quite a long time: Drizzle and Blood Mountain God.